also, i'm perplexed.  i haven't been this happy since, um, hell...uh...i think when i was five or so?  maybe?  i really can't remember a stretch of...utter contentment...this long since i was a kid.  and that's too far back to really remember anyway.

it's amazing that no amount of drugs and therapy would do it...but having my soul ripped out, slashed open, pissed on and left for dead...that worked.

sort of like...

"hey.  all that happened...and you're still here.  get up.  get over yourself.  go live your life."